Snow and Serenity
by aridancer
Summary: It's Christmastime. It's snowing outside. And all Mal can think about is how much he misses Inara. One-shot. Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly, Serenity, or any of the characters


A/N: Screw timelines, it's Christmas. In this one-shot, Inara and Serenity parted ways a year ago because she couldn't handle her feelings for Mal, but she used the excuse that she could find more job opportunities on her own. ALLLLLL of Serenity's crew (Mal, Wash, Zoe, Jayne, Kaylee, Simon, River, and Book, in case you weren't sure what "ALLLLLL" meant) is alive and well and are celebrating Christmas onboard all together for the first time ever. (again, screw timelines) They're docked in the middle of a desert not too far from a small city, and it's snowing outside.

Enjoy this bittersweet peek into Mal's holiday feels.

* * *

It was snowing outside.

The snow always made him think of Inara.

Not because she could be cold and distant; no. She was only like that when he said or did something stupid, anyway. It made him think of her because when it was cold outside, your instincts told you to seek warmth.

For him, Inara was that warmth.

She was brave and passionate and quick-tongued and intelligent and infuriating and captivating all at the same time. And Mal had done what he knew he'd inevitably do and had tried his hardest not to do: push her away.

He knew Kaylee missed having a feminine friend around, and Zoe missed having someone who could get them into places that only respectable Companions could get you into. He'd rather not think about why Jayne missed her; and of course the rest of the crew missed her for various reasons. But it was mighty unlikely that any one of them had a hole in their heart like he did.

Mal checked up on her every now and then; nice and discreet-like, of course. She seemed to be happy. Successful. More beautiful than ever, if that was even possible. But, of course, she would be successful no matter where she went. Inara just had this way about her; to where you couldn't take your eyes off her the second she walked into the room.

And she wasn't just a pretty face. Inara knew her way around a fight and could smooth-talk with the highest of dignitaries—you know; those ones who had two sticks up in their hard-to-reach places; not just one.

There were times when Inara got under his skin; and not just in the good way. She knew how to push his buttons, grind his gears, and every other metaphor for making him mad. But for all the things they disagreed on, there was one thing they had in common.

They both hated complications.

What good could come of something going on between a captain and a Companion who was simply renting one of his shuttles? It would have just made things complicated; not to mention the fact that they were always at each other's throats.

But couldn't the reason they got so mad at each other be because their feelings were so damn strong? Mal had sure as hell never felt something this strong for anyone he'd ever known, and he knew Inara felt the same way, however much she tried to hide it.

Companion's didn't settle down, though. They just went on with their smooth-talking and their debutante balls and their ceremonious rituals and their whorin—

Mal winced. She'd hated that the most. Sometimes he'd let the word slip on true and honest accident; sometimes, he did say it on purpose just to rile her up. But that was only when she was being especially high and mighty.

He sighed. It was his own fault she'd left, and he had to accept that. But that didn't mean he couldn't wish she was here to celebrate Christmas onboard Serenity for the first time with the full crew.

"Cap'n?" Kaylee's voice echoed through the hall. She poked her head into the door of the cockpit. "Wash says he knows he parked her right, so you have no excuse to be mopin' around alone in here on _Christmas._ " She smiled and adjusted the large golden bow affixed to her hair. "C'mon, we're all done decoratin' the tree!"

Mal shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I dunno, Kaylee. I don't think I'm feelin' up to all that holiday cheer."

"Aw, don't be a Grinch, Cap'n!" Kaylee exclaimed. "I learned that name from Simon. He told me about an old Christmas legend where a green monster eats all the good children's presents and turns the bad children into coal. It was kind of gruesome, actually," she said, frowning. Then she immediately brightened up again. "Come on! We're not gonna light the star on top unless you're there."

Mal smiled ruefully. "All right, fine. I'll be there in a minute—only if I get to wear one of those shiny bows like yours."

Kaylee grinned. "You got it! We'll be waitin'." She turned to go, and hesitated. "Oh, and, uh… Cap'n? There's a present waitin' for you under the tree. I think you're gonna wanna see it." Kaylee darted back down the hall, and Mal took one last look outside, at the darkening sky and the drifting, swirling snowflakes.

Finally, he made himself leave the cockpit and stride down the hall towards the cargo bay. Mal descended the steps with a clatter and was warmed by the sight of the whole crew gathered around a uniquely decorated Joshua tree. He could see that River and Kaylee had had most of the say in the decorating.

"There you are. We were starting to think you weren't coming," Book said, with the hint of a knowing smile.

"We _are_ gonna eat once this is done bein' lit, right?" Jayne grumbled. "It's all takin' forever."

Beside him, Simon waved, and River fidgeted with the hem of her dress, like she was trying not to say something that she really wanted to say. Wash and Zoe were holding hands, and Kaylee was positively beaming.

"Here's the tree! And your present," she added. Confused, Mal looked from her to the tree, expecting to see a box bedecked with bows beneath it.

Instead, someone walked around from the other side of the tree and looked at him. Everyone else in the cargo bay faded away as her honeyed-chocolate brown eyes gazed at him.

"Hello, Mal," Inara said, calmly but with a hint of stiffness, as though she was worried about how he would respond.

Mal's feet were moving before his brain knew what he was doing. In the space of an instant, he crossed the distance between them and swept Inara into his arms. Everyone cheered as Inara's arms slid around Mal, accepting the embrace.

Mal didn't try to kiss her; he didn't want to scare her off. All he did was hold Inara tight and whisper, so that only she could hear:

"Welcome home, Inara."


End file.
